Where Count Cookie the Grouch Goes Tanning

Jeffrey, the solar power behind www.solsuntherapy.com, quoth:

"Fis my site" or, at least, take a peek at it. Well, I don't think its all that broken, but I'd be curious to get your opinion.

So you don't think it's broken, eh, Jeffy? Is that a challenge? Am I supposed to find something "broken" about your site? Fine, I shall.

So after some extensive research, a few lab rats, a howler monkey (oh man did I learn why they're called "howlers"), and some protein synthesis, I've discovered where your site is so broken, it may as well be shattered into a billion tiny pieces and strewn over the ocean to be ingested by phytoplankton and sea turtles. Your CSS doesn't validate! Sucka! Aw right, still got it.

Okay, so, really, that's the only thing structurally wrong with your site, so despite my best efforts to make you feel like crap about this awful piece of junk you've submitted to me, it's really not that bad. Granted, you pansied out and went with the hippy doctype of HTML 4.01, but it validates, so I can't really give you too much crap, except you should probably go ahead and make it XHTML at some point in the nearer-to-when-you-started-reading-this-sentence future. So, broken, sadly, no. Are there things that suck? You betcha! Plus, I know you loved my sentence where each word had a comma after it. Only people with degrees in that crap can do that and get away with it, so I wouldn't suggest it.

Let's talk about your design. To be fair, it's a good start. To be unfair, you could do a lot better. Don't get me wrong, I like rotating women as much as the next guy (or girl who is of that orientation [if she prefers rotating women (unless she prefers rotating guys and girls, in which case, this is not the same)]), but the fact that you only have two draws a lot of attention to your lack of (image) pimpin' abilities. Maybe add a few more pictures to that feature to keep it a bit fresher, as you know how everyone loves fresh womens.

Also, I know you were going with the whole transparent cutout image thing with the separation of the header section from the body, but honestly it looks a bit disjointed. This could be because the body does not match the head at all, kind of like those make-your-own-character things where you could pick the head, body, and feet from Sesame Street and then name it Count Cookie the Grouch or something. In this case, your site would be named Licenseplate Plainwhitebox Plaingreybox, instead of Sol Sun Therapy. Since your header is rounded you have three options:

1. Delete all your files and start from scratch
2. Flatten out the bottom of your header and connect it to the body
3. Round out the corners of your body

I understand these may sound like scary changes to you, since you seem pretty well set on your design, but believe me, the third option is really easy as pizza and beer should do the trick. Basically, what I'm saying is that your design lacks continuity, which is a bit jarring for your visitors. Additionally, there's enough unused space in the main section of your site to put an embryonic elephant. I would suggest you fill that with a grey sidebar like you have in your "sunless tanning" or a picture of another hot chick, but hey, that's just me (Adriana Lima and Maria Sharapova are not being suggested or hinted at). Remember, your homepage is the furthest most people will get on your site, so giving them as much eye candy as you can without sending them into epileptic shock is a good idea.

Let's talk metatags for a second here. It won't be a long talk, since you have none, so I would suggest you put them (them = keywords and descriptions) in, and make them unique to each page.

It appears that your content is pretty good and unique, although I will admit I didn't look at other tanning websites, but for the love of Pete check your spelling! "Packette?" Is that like a tiny packet, analogous to a "towelette", "kitchenette", "Rockette", or "Corvette" being diminuitive versions of towels, kitchens, Rocks, and Corvs? And Nothing Is More Annoying Than A Sentence Where The First Letter Of Every Word Is Capitalized To Construe Faux-Importance Of The Sentence Or The Subjects Being Capitalized Within. Funny how you can literally hear the deep, haughty voice saying that sentence. Well, at least I can. Um. Moving on.

I suppose my only other gripe about this site is that it took me at least three tries to figure out what the little button at the bottom of your navigation says. "Wear a fan unearth if all?" Ok, Yoda, whatever you say. Oh, one more thing. This is nitpicky, but since you've submitted yourself to my scrutiny, too bad: the text in your footer should be smaller, since you want to distinguish it from the rest of your content. The footer is purely informational and should not be so prominent on your page. Shrink your bottom logo and shrink your text, and you could probably drop the height of your page by like 150px.

All in all, you have a very good start to what could be a very decent site. The design is not horrible, the coding stomachable, the navigation clear, albeit discriminatory (what if a groom and his buddies want to have a tanning party?), and the structure not overly complex. Just a couple more hot chicks, and this site could maintain a regular audience (did I hear a suggestion for a "Hot Chick of the Day" feature [which is, of course, completely acceptable to capitalize egregiously]?). Good luck.

Edit: I just looked at your site in IE7. Imagine shattered pottery. That is all.